How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
