Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
