it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
