North Korea, Best Korea!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I believe in your delicious
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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