Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
