first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Bring me that man meat
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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