you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
