So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
