he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Panties = found
Randomize
