Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
