Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
