ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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