No, drunk sperm still make babies.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
