So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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