Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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