i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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