I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had to cum in my sink.
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