ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
