My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we're making bets on your personal life
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
