he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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