My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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