In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
