this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
