There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
