I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
