The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
