he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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