so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
