do herpes really smell.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
