How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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