when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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