i barfeds in our rink
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
