I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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