They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
