so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
