Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
