her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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