do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
