butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
