I need help removing her.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
