i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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