Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
