Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
