and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
