idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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