he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
