That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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