New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
