Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
