Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Come see our sink grown plant.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
