he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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