Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
